The Giggle Hut Blog

For about 15 years, I faired the storms of parenting both of my boys without a husband or consistent father figure for them.  I’ve leaned on prayers and the many family members and friends that became a village around us.  Because it “takes a village to raise a child” and in this case, I needed every single one to rally around us.  Raising an infant and toddler was no easy task.  I saw how important everyone was to care for and love on the boys when I was at work; more so to make me feel secure about leaving the boys for work.  And I’m forever grateful.

My life was (still is) for God, the boys and work.  Oh, and I worked!  I slept for very few hours and hit the ground running most days, it seemed like every moment in time was accounted for. I had little to nothing left for the dating scene.  Waiting, healing, and focusing on the boy’s care were the most important things.  It was difficult, but the kids needed me.  They needed me to be emotionally and mentally present and spiritually whole.  So, I had a lot of “heart” work to do.

Eventually, I dipped a toe into the dating pool a few times, there were flying red flags that I turned down, closed doors, and on the other end there were a couple gentlemen that I was hopeful for but never panned out.  Rather, God had other plans and I learned something new.  I made my way through the hard choices, the many mistakes, successes and self-discoveries.

As I approached a complicated and intimidating season in my and the boys life, I remember thinking, “I don’t know how much longer I can physically do this on my own.”  Jonathan is a teenager and weighs as much as I do, so imagine me lifting and holding up that kiddo throughout the day.  My family was also very concerned for me to the point I was told that my life is so intertwined with all the healthcare that I might not ever have the opportunity to meet anyone.  I refused to let that be a solution for all my problems.  If I met and married someone, it would be because I chose to love someone, NOT because it’s a business transaction that would make my life better.  So I kept at it and continued to lean on friends and family.  I searched for home resources for Jonathan that could help me care for him, but ran into many dead ends.  As far as my personal life, I volunteered on the weekends at church, and I planned to travel to certain places as a Solo Traveler through a safe travel program. 

Little did I know that someone would step into our lives that I never thought would.  In fact, I tried to avoid it for a good year or so.  I started to notice things about this person at work that caught my eye.  This person is someone who doesn’t shy away from a challenge or hardwork, and willing to help.  I have never in my life been attracted to a lazy person, even my ex-husband was a hard worker (at work).  This person is a hard worker at work and in his personal life.  His attention to detail is meticulous.  His sense of humor is unparalleled and has no shame in it.  He’s silly, wacky, and fun.  He is so willing to make time for the boys and I, and more importantly he’s returned back to church since he was young and learning new things.

Most people struggle keeping up with our lifestyle, but he merged onto our high-speed highway seamlessly and smoothly.  He hasn’t missed a moment to cheer on the boys, or be there even when it’s hard.  And it’s been difficult even for myself in learning about teenage boys.

One Fine Day

On an unassuming day, he came over to hang out and help me with one of those “YOU go this way,  I go that way” appointment days for the boys.  And in a rare peaceful and relaxing moment in my home he asked me to marry him.

And so the wild things get a plus one! Ben and I will have an intimate destination wedding in September.

Murmurs of the Heart

My revelation, thoughts, self-discovery, or insight from that still small voice.

Time –  I didn’t think that 14 years later I would still be unmarried and parenting alone.  But God does have plans beyond what you expect.  His timing is perfect and always on time.  The orchestration of Ben and I meeting would not have happened if certain moments did not occur.  He went through a disaster of a marriage and separation.  And it took both of us going through our rough times to come out where we’re at today.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV)

Promises – I struggled and thought if I was perfect in God’s eyes then He would bless me in all areas of my life.  But that is simply not true.  His promises are good and He follows through regardless of how we are.  Just like when the Israelites would continue to make mistakes and bad choices, His promises did not change and He never gave up on them.  (The book of Exodus)  He will deliver when its time.